As much as I joke about not being able to hear properly, I am actually pretty scared at the thought that my hearing could be stuck like this forever. Already been to the doctors to get them cleaned out but not much difference, now just the wait for the ear specialist to tell me what’s up and find out if I’m going to be stuck saying “what????????????” for the rest of my life.
Of course I get seriously drunk at the weekend and stalk my ex then accidently like something SOMEONE else said to them.
Making me seem double the stalker.
Someone just spare me now and kill me aaaaahhhhhh.
Every single time I feel like I have finally 100% moved on from one of my exs, he messages me or i see him and everything sparks up again.
Really should just ignore him, but I can’t help but talk to him.
I mean after everything I should hate him but I just can’t, ahhh.
I chose a desk in work today that is hidden away so I can sit on Tumblr and play angry birds alllllll daaaaaaayyyyy.
So today I went to the doctors, got a few tests done and got diagnosed with postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome.
In a way I’m kind of glad because now I know why I feel so nauseous all the time and why I am so dizzy like 24/7 amongst loads of other horrible feelings.
It’s so weird that I didn’t even know what POTS was before today and now I’m pretty much stuck with it.
I asked not to go on to any medication just now in hope that somehow I can get better, but I’ve been ill for longer than a month now so that probably wont happen.
So yeah one of my ex’s blocked and deleted me on facebook around 3 months ago over nothing, then unblocked me last night and apologised for everything (obviously drunk…). It’s left me feeling so confused, like what the hell why would he just randomly do that after all of this time.
It’s like whenever I start to feel like I will finally stop meeting up with him, he just comes right back in to my life and mind fucks me again.
I have like no romantic feelings for him what so ever, but this has been going on for around 5 years now and I’m worried I’ll be like 80 years old and we will still be messaging each other and meeting up in our zimmers at 4am.
Well I can officially say that this weekend, NO bad pictures of me were taken whilst drunk and you have no idea how good it feels to know that I wont have to pester someone to take down photos of me looking horrid.
On another note it was slightly awkward seeing my ex and I dunno, I still managed to have a good time and stuff but it was a bit weirder than expected. Bleh.